Many people visualize forceful doctors, painful seizures, torture devices, and spiritless patients when they think of ECT. Accompanied by these images are the thoughts of controlling, abusive, and unnecessary shock treatments used to control confused patients. People often speak of their “knowledge” of the excruciating, scream-inducing convulsions that accompany shock treatments. Such people are usually surprised to discover that ECT is still in use, and is actually enthusiastically endorsed by professionals and patients alike. [cite to McMan’s] What people don’t seem aware of is that only part of what “shock therapy” has been portrayed as in the media was ever realistic, and nearly none of it exists today. In reality, electroconvulsive therapy is a safe and beneficial treatment for depression.
Before a patient receives ECT, they must be referred, and then informed consent must be given by the patient or the party legally responsible for the patient in the case where the patient is unable to consent. There are some pre-treatment assessments to weigh any possible risks, and if there are risks, the tests continue to see how they may be minimized. [Cite to Armenian Medical Network] A patient will usually receive treatments around six to twelve times over the course of two weeks, or in some cases, every other day. [Cite to answers.com] In preparation for the treatment, the patient receives medication to keep heart rhythms normal, an anesthetic, and blocking agents. The electrodes through which the electricity is sent are fastened to one or both sides of the patient’s scalp before the treatment is applied. [Cite to McMan’s] The jolt of electricity generally only lasts for 0.1-0.5 seconds. [cite to answers.com] The “convulsion” itself, which is really limited to twitching fingers, ends in about thirty seconds. In a few minutes, the patient will be awake, with little to no recollection of the treatment. [Cite to McMann’s]
There are only a few reasons that many people are against electroconvulsive therapy, and these reasons are founded mostly on confusion and misinformation. The first reason is that people are confused and believe they have been misinformed. This confusion turns people against ECT, but really has little to do with the therapy itself. The confusion stems from the information presented by ECT experts and which supposedly makes ECT look safer and more worthwhile than it really is. For example, there are claims that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) falsified reports and statistics regarding frequency and severity of certain side effects, mostly memory loss, of ECT. These claims consist largely of the accusations that the APA report fewer people have suffered memory loss than really have, and that more people have experienced severe or permanent memory loss than the APA reports. [cite to ect.org] However, this confusion should not reflect poorly on ECT directly, as it seems to have. If anything, it should reflect on the doctors and the APA, if they are really down-playing side effects or falsifying information. In their defense, one statistic that the APA is accused of falsifying, the APA claimed was an estimate. Estimating was probably the best they could do, because only four of the fifty United States “require reporting on ECT statistics.”
The misinformation misleads people into thinking ECT is more dangerous than it really is. These half-truths usually scare people into their biases. One variation of half-truth is that presented by the media, which has constantly made ECT appear as an abusive way to control patients rather than a way to help them. The movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” seems to have lead the charge in this attack on ECT. [Cite to newspaper] However, it doesn’t stop there. Other movies include “The Snake Pit,” “Frances,” and “Shine.” Studies have repeatedly shown that after watching films that depict ECT as barbaric and ineffective, the majority of respondents, medical students included, “decreased their support” of the practice. The saddest part of this is that the portrayal of ECT in these movies was not accurate. [cite to psychiatrictimes] Another form of frightening half-truth is the overly simplified terms in which ECT is sometimes thought of. People tend to think of electroconvulsive therapy in such expressions as “electrocuting someone’s brain” or “giving someone a seizure,” which are not altogether accurate. Decades ago, these fears may have been somewhat justified, but ECT has made so many advances in recent years that these are far from the concerns that knowledgeable people have. It is not used for anything other than treating depression, bipolar disorder, and occasionally schizophrenia. [cite to familydoctor.org] ECT has also become much safer than before. In fact, “shock” therapy’s original stimulatations didn’t use electricity, and medication-induced “seizures” were actually much more dangerous than the electric ones, particularly compared to the ones today, where anesthesia, muscle relaxants, and well-controlled amounts of electricity are used. [answers.com]
Fifty years ago, patients might have been given over 100 treatments, with larger quantities of electricity and a different waveform. The treatments weren’t supervised well, and because muscle relaxants and anesthesia weren’t used, the treatments and convulsions were painful and could result in broken bones. Today, the convulsions have been lessened to the twitch of a finger or two with the muscle relaxants, and a patient might get up with a headache or sore limbs, never an injured bone. [Cite to Electroboy] These are all very important improvements to the safety of ECT, but there are also improvements to the therapy itself. One is the use of what is called unilateral ECT, where they place the electrode only on the right side of the scalp. This keeps the side of the brain where language and auditory memory is stored from being affected. The other significant improvement is the beginning of using [use of] brief-pulse stimulus instead of a steady stream of electricity. With a quick, short dosage of electricity, it lessens the chances of serious memory problems. [City to Electroboy] One more area in which ECT has made serious progress is figuring out what it does. When ECT was first practiced, they believed that epilepsy could not exist with seizures, so they induced seizures to patients, hoping to dispel the epilepsy. [Answers.com] It has since been observed that ECT does marvelous things, not for dispelling epilepsy, but for dispelling depression. However, we have only recently begun to figure out why. There are a few theories, but probably the most widely accepted explanation is the “Neuroendocrine theory,” which claims, simply put, that the electrical shock delivered in ECT causes many chemicals in the brain to be released. These chemicals help the brain cells and “chemical messengers” in the body work better together. [Cite familydoctor.org] A chemical that may be released is called neuropeptide, which also helps to regulate mood. [Cite to electroboy]
ECT isn’t inhumane, and it is certainly making leaps and bounds where progress is concerned – but does it actually serve a purpose? It most certainly does. Electroconvulsive therapy is the quickest form of therapy available for treating depression. Patients usually undergo treatment for about two weeks before they are done, as opposed to multiple weeks or months that may be required for medication or talk therapy to take effect. [cite to WebMD] Some people might wonder why this is relevant, and these people are probably forgetting one very important thing about depression, which is how it sometimes ends – death. More specifically, it may end in suicide. Approximately 15% of all people with depression will end up committing suicide. [Cite to newspaper] ECT is a very valuable option in the case of depression when there is a risk of suicide or homicide. In these cases, counseling, and medication may not take effect fast enough to deter these attempts. Because ECT works almost immediately, with nearly immediately results [redundant], it is the best solution for these situations. However, ECT, like any kind of therapy, is not permanent. [cite to WebMD] Unless the use of ECT is continuous, or the patient is merely experiencing a depressive episode, then it can’t prevent suicide; it can only postpone it.. [Cite to ect.org]] This is because depression, for the most part, isn’t curable [Statistic?]. Any time that depression is overcome by any means, it is possible for it to return, so even if ECT is used right away to alleviate the immediate risk of suicide, further treatment is always recommended and is usually necessary. [cite to WebMD]
ECT is not only the fastest form of therapy for depression; it is also the most effectual form of therapy offered. [site to McMann] Some patients that are treated for depression may not respond significantly, or even at all, to medication or counseling. Other patients may not be able to take the medications they need due to other health restrictions. In such cases, it is likely that ECT will help. In fact, ECT has an 80-85% “response rate” for acute depression. [cite to answers.com] Compare this to an average of 51% success rate for the 12 most common antidepressants and do the math. [cite to findcounseling.com] There are cases when medication or counseling will be able to build on what ECT has initiated in a patient, but in more difficult cases, they may use continuous treatment. This hasn’t been very common in the past, due to uncertainty of the effects of long-term exposure to ECT, but has experienced a rise in the medical community. [cite to Armenia thing] One aspect that must be handled with special care in the use of continuous ECT is the diagnosis of the person receiving it. They should be properly diagnosed with depression, and it should be made certain that they don’t have bipolar disorder that has been misdiagnosed. There is a risk that, while ECT may help improve bipolar disorder to some extent, excessive use of electroconvulsive therapy may increase the frequency of episodes. [cite to Armenia thing) For this reason, before receiving continuous ECT for any reason, it is important to be absolutely sure about the diagnosis. ECT is a valuable alternative, and a truly remarkable treatment in many aspects. However, as with any kind of therapy or medicine, it can do damage if used for the wrong purposes.
Electroconvulsive therapy has many advantages over other forms of therapy, and it can produce miraculous results, but in the end, it isn’t a miracle. Electroconvulsive therapy is just what it is – it is therapy. Like any kind of therapy, there are downfalls, and these are the downfalls that anti-ECT enthusiasts will emphasize when they try to tear it down. In reality, though, ECT at its worst is no worse than another form of medication or therapy. ECT, like any other type of treatment, can be damaging if it’s misused. A patient can become sick or their condition may actually worsen if they are given the wrong medicine. ECT may hurt the person or make their condition worse if it was the wrong treatment – that’s why it’s so important, as mentioned before, that a patient is properly diagnosed. In addition, there can be too much of a good thing. A patient may overdose, intentionally or unintentionally, by their fault or a doctor’s mistake prescription. This is definitely harmful, but one would not blame the medication, because that was not the medicine’s intended use. Similarly, if a person receives too much ECT, there will almost definitely be increasingly adverse effects. Any blame for too much electricity being applied or having too many treatment sessions would probably be placed on the doctor in charge – regardless, it isn’t the fault of ECT itself, because ECT is not intended to be given at certain amounts. However, if any of these errors happened with a medication, or another form of more widely-accepted therapy, people would probably not try to deprive other patients of whatever treatment was involved. Similarly, there are no good reasons to try to deprive future potential patients of ECT. If a form of treatment has been misused, the answer should not be to get rid of the treatment – it should be to take better precautions to prevent the misuse.
Also like any kind of therapy or medication, ECT has side effects, the only difficult one being memory loss. Any medication, including over-the-counter drugs, can have side effects. Some anti-depressants’ side effects include the risk of increased suicidal thoughts. Hypnotic drugs, which are most commonly used for treating insomnia or other sleep conditions, have such side effects as weakness, chest pains, a wide variation of stomach and intestinal problems, and even insomnia – which is what the medicine is supposed to be fixing. [Cite to rxlist] Some even claim that there is somewhat of a side effect even to therapy – a stigma that will always follow a person and affect their life. [Cite to antipsychiatry] If a person accepts this negative stigma about themselves, it is even possible that they will develop a dependence on talk therapy through a self-fulfilling prophecy, in which they subconsciously act in conjunction with their thought, thus making this thought a reality. [cite to psychologysuite101.come] If the thought was, “Only crazy people need therapy,” and that thought turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy, then the person would start to subconsciously act more “crazy,” which might actually result in the need of more therapy. Everything in the medical world has some kind of side effect. ECT is no different, and its side effects are relatively few in comparison to some more widely-accepted medications. Despite this, every time someone’s are unpredictably worse than expected, they seem to call forth a lawsuit or a horror story.
There are horror stories galore regarding the effects of memory loss due to ECT. Among these are the cases of Peggy S. Salters, who lost 30 years of her memory, including that of her marriage to her deceased husband; Ernest Hemingway, who killed himself because he claimed he could not write without his memory; and Melissa Holliday, who claimed that ECT was worse than rape. [Cite to answers.com] These stories would seem enough to scare away any potential patient, but considering how many patients undergo ECT, which is an estimated 100,000 in the United States each year [cite to History and Use], these incidents are few and far between. Success stories, while much less splashy, far out-number the accounts of failure. Some patients would talk about their treatment like it was a nightmare, and then clarify that, compared to how they felt before, the memory loss and temporary soreness was nothing. It makes one wonder how much they were suffering before the treatment. The patients can tell us. One patient describes their prior depression as “hellish.” Another described their depression as a disease that “stole his self,” “executed” him, and “forced him to stand and look down at his own corpse.” [Cite to answers.com] To go from that kind of misery to memory loss, headaches, and soreness of limbs must be some relief. Relatives of those who have undergone ECT say that their loved ones are like “being brought back from the dead.” [Cite to Armenian thingy bob] Nobody likes losing memories, but with the advances they are making in discovering exactly how ECT works, the closer they are to being able to prevent and treat the memory problems. Until then, as with any kind of treatment, it is a balance of pros and cons. Ms. Kitty Dukakis, who has undergone ECT and is glad for it, has a counselor who puts the question rather simply: “Would you rather be depressed or be forgetful?” [cite to answers.com] When depression reaches the point that your thoughts continuously focus on death, you can’t sleep, but you can’t get out of bed, and there’s nothing, including medication and therapy, that seems capable of making you feel better, then the answer is probably just as simple.
When it is put that way, it certainly does look simple. Then why is it so hard for outsiders to reach such a seemingly straightforward answer? When people hear about a failed heart being revived by electric pulses, they are relieved – but once the same principle is applied to the brain, it is often considered barbaric, inhumane, and horrific. Hopefully, this kind of thinking can be put to an end by people being properly informed about ECT’s use, procedure, and overall benefits. It is important for people to support ECT for two main reasons. One reason is that, with support, more research can be done, which can lead to being able to better prevent or treat the side effects of ECT. With the impressive progress that ECT has made in the last 40 to 50 years, it can certainly continue to make progress. Another reason is to raise awareness of its availability. Many people who might benefit from ECT don’t realize it is an option. A person may undergo ECT after suffering from depression for four years, only to wonder why they hadn’t done it three years earlier. [Cite – Newspaper?] That doesn’t mean that ECT is for everyone, because it isn’t. No doctor or expert would ever claim that it is, but it is hardly reasonable to argue that ECT is right for no one. Electroconvulsive therapy has repeatedly and undeniably saved and changed lives for the better, and it would be a drastic mistake to deny future depression victims the chance to have their lives turned around by the opportunities that ECT can offer.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Research Paper Start
There are several well-argued reasons that many people are against electroconvulsive therapy. The main reason is that people are misinformed. The first misinformation that turns people against ECT is less common, and really has little to do with ECT itself. This is the information that is presented by ECT experts that supposedly makes ECT look better than it really is. For example, some patients have claimed that doctors played down the side effects of ECT before administering it. There have also been claims that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) falsified reports and statistics regarding frequency and severity of certain side effects, mostly memory loss, of ECT. These claims consist largely of the accusations that the APA report fewer people have suffered memory loss than really have, and that more people have experienced severe or permanent memory loss than the APA reports. However, this form of “misinformation” should not reflect poorly on ECT as it does; if anything, it should be reflecting badly on the doctors that are down-playing the side effects, if indeed they are, and the APA, if they are really falsifying information. In reality, one statistic that the APA is accused of falsifying, the APA claimed was an estimate. Estimating was probably they best they could do, because only four of the fifty United States “require reporting on ECT statistics.”
The other type of misinformation is the kind that misleads people into thinking ECT is worse than it really is. These half-truths usually scare people into their biases. One such variation of half-truth is that presented by the media, which has constantly made ECT appear as an abusive way to control patients rather than a way to help them. [Insert examples.] Another form of frightening half-truth is the overly simplified terms in which ECT is sometimes thought of. People tend to think of electroconvulsive therapy in such expressions as “electrocuting someone’s brain” or “giving someone a seizure,” which are not altogether accurate. Decades ago, these fears may have been somewhat justified, but ECT has made advances in recent years that these are far from the concerns that knowledgeable people have. It is not used for anything other than treating depression, bipolar disorder, and occasionally schizophrenia. ECT has also become much safer than before – in fact, shock therapy’s original origins didn’t use electricity, and medication-induced “seizures” were actually much more dangerous than the electric ones, especially compared to the ones today, with the use of anesthesia, muscle relaxants, and well-controlled amounts of electricity.
[Paragraph about progress of ECT]
ECT isn’t an inhumane treatment, and is certainly making leaps and bounds where progress is concerned – but does it actually serve a purpose? It most certainly does. Electroconvulsive therapy is the quickest form of therapy available for treating depression. [Insert statistic.] Some people might wonder why this is relevant, and these people are probably forgetting one very important thing about depression, and that is how it sometimes ends – death. More specifically, it may end in suicide. [How often does depression cause suicide? How many suicides are planned and how many are spur-of-the-moment?] ECT is a very valuable option in the case of depression when there is a risk of suicide or homicide. In these cases, counseling, and medication may not take effect fast enough to deter these attempts. Because ECT works almost immediately, with results often within one to three weeks [check this with previously inserted statistic], it is the best solution for these solution. However, ECT, like any kind of therapy, is not permanent. It does not prevent suicide, it postpones it. [Insert citation from Verinda Sharma study] This is because depression, for the most part, isn’t curable [Statistic?]. Any time that depression is overcome by any means, it is possible for it to return, so even if ECT is used right away to alleviate the immediate risk of suicide, further treatment is recommended and often necessary.
ECT is not only the fastest form of therapy for depression; it is also the most effectual form of therapy offered. Some patients that are treated for depression may not respond significantly, or even at all, to medication or counseling. Other patients may not be able to take the medications they need due to other health restrictions. In such cases, it is likely that ECT will be able to help. [Insert statistic – regarding success rate of ECT?] There are cases when medication or counseling will be able to build off of what ECT has been able to initiate in a patient, but in more difficult cases, they may use continuous treatment. This hasn’t been very common in the past, due to uncertainty of the effects of long-term exposure to ECT, but has experienced a rise in the medical community. [Insert statistic] One thing that must be handled with special care in the use of continuous ECT is the diagnosis of the person receiving it. They should be properly diagnosed with depression, and it should be made certain that they don’t have bipolar disorder that has been misdiagnosed. There is a risk that, while ECT may help improve bipolar disorder to some extent, excessive use of it may increase the frequency of episodes. For this reason, before receiving continuous ECT for any reason, it is important to be absolutely sure about the diagnosis. ECT is a valuable alternative, and a truly remarkable treatment in many aspects. However, as with any kind of therapy or medicine, it can do damage if used for the wrong purposes.
Electroconvulsive therapy has many advantages over other forms of therapy, and it can produce miraculous results, but in the end, it isn’t a miracle, it is just what it is – it is therapy. Like any kind of therapy, there are downfalls, and these are the downfalls that anti-ECT enthusiasts will emphasize when they try to tear it down. In reality, though, ECT at its worst is no worse than another form of medication or therapy. ECT, like any other type of treatment, can be damaging if it’s misused. A patient can become sick or their condition may actually worsen if they are given the wrong medicine. ECT may hurt the person or make their condition worse if it was the wrong medicine – that’s why it’s so important, as mentioned before, that a patient is properly diagnosed. In addition, there can be too much of a good thing. A patient may overdose, intentionally or unintentionally, by their fault or a doctor’s, on any form of medication – this is definitely harmful, but one would not blame the medication, because that was not the medicine’s intended use. Similarly, if a person receives too much ECT, there will probably be adverse, although most likely not fatal, effects. Any blame for too much electricity being applied or having too many treatment sessions would probably be placed on the doctor in charge – regardless, it isn’t the fault of ECT itself. Harmful amounts of ECT are never the intension. [Dependency on ECT?] However, if any of these things happened with a medication, or another form of more widely-accepted therapy, people would probably not try to deprive the patients of whatever treatment was involved. Similarly, there are no good reasons to try to deprive patients of ECT. If a form of treatment has been misused, the answer should not be to get rid of the treatment – it should be to take better precautions to prevent the misuse.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Process Analysis First Draft
The first step to loving yourself is acknowledging the need to love yourself. This means admitting not only that you don’t love yourself, but that love is a necessity. Loving yourself is largely necessary because it keeps you emotionally healthy. Without love, it is all too easy to lapse into depression or other severe emotional pain. Falling into this kind of melancholy often entails not only a lack of loving yourself, but a belief that you are unworthy of love. In addition, it is more difficult for others to emotionally care for those who don’t care for themselves. They often feel overwhelmed by the task and have to give up. Because of this, it is difficult to find someone to depend on when you can’t or won’t love yourself. You need more help emotionally than anyone is capable of giving, since then they would basically be taking care of two people’s emotional well-being. In addition, if people who try to help repeatedly give up and leave, this could result in an intensified feeling of love-unworthiness for you.
After you realize that you need to love yourself, you have to come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect – even you – but that this doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. Think of other people you love – undeniably, they aren’t perfect either, because no human is perfect. Everyone has flaws. However, you are able to love them despite their failings, so you should be able to love yourself despite your failings as well. In addition, if you set unrealistic standards for yourself, such as perfection or near or near-perfection, then you will repeatedly let yourself down. This will only serve to further convince you of your love-unworthiness.
The last thing you have to do before you are ready to take real action is to know what is important. You need to know what traits matter in a person for them to be loved. A good way to do this is to figure out what kinds of qualities make another person you love make them so lovable to you, or why you find them so worthy of love. These are qualities that may make you lovable or love-worthy in your own eyes. In addition, you shouldn’t allow less significant traits distract you. Things such as appearance, ability and inability, or financial well-being are a few things that are superficial and should not affect whether you love others or yourself.
By this time, your mind should be in the right frame of thinking that you can start to take action. One of the first things you have to do is to identify the positive things, which would be the things that make you feel loved or worthy of love, in your life, and nurture them. Some of these things will be people that make you feel loved or love-worthy when you are around them. When you identify these people, you should spend more time with them, and also do your best to make them feel loved and love-worthy in return. Other positive things you might find that need nurturing are positive traits that you possess. There is a slight distinction between your positive traits and important the afore-mentioned important things. Important things apply to everyone; your positive traits are unique to you, and not everyone may possess them. It may be willingness to help people or your desire to enforce the law, everyone has different positive traits. You have to find your unique qualities and find ways to help them grow. If you’re having trouble, a good way to identify these traits and qualities is to ask the people who know you what some positive things about you are, and start from there. Once the parts of your life that make you feel loved and worthy of it have become a more active part of your life, you their effect on your life will become more evident as well.
After you’ve strengthened the positive areas of your life, it will be easier to tackle the negative areas. As with the positive areas of your life, you have to first find and identify the negative things, which keep you or discourage you from loving yourself. You will need a lot of support when dealing with this. This can be dispiriting and hurtful, so it is better to build up the supportive people and qualities that you have first. This is so they can help sustain you when you are working on the negative things in your life. Part of what makes this step so painful is that once you’ve identified the people who make you feel unloved or unworthy of love, you have to stop associating with them, or at least associate with them less. This is another reason it’s good to have strong relationships with helpful, encouraging people – to fill the void left by the people who were hurting you. You’ll also have to make an effort to stifle the traits of yours that make you feel unworthy of being loved. These will also generally be person-specific. They may be anything from insensitivity for others to an inclination towards needless violence. This step is very difficult, but once you start to distance yourself from things that discourage love or that make you feel unworthy of being loved, it allows more room for love to take root.
Now that so much has changed with so many people, there will be a lot of actions and feelings from these people. After you’ve started to encourage things that encourage you, and discouraging things that discourage you, you have to avoid letting the actions and feelings of others affect your feelings for yourself. For one thing, some people don’t realize how their actions will affect you. Many people act without thinking how their words or actions might seem to others, because they don’t think about what they might not know. Also, self-consumed people are usually so wrapped up in themselves that they might not realize that they affect others at all. Some of them might be consumed with self-love, which might make you feel insignificant for not being like them; many others will be consumed with self-hatred, which might make you feel guilty for not being able to help. In either case, however, these people don’t often realize they guilt or other feelings that they are imposing on you. Even though it is difficult, you shouldn’t take it to heart – neither of these feelings, or any other feeling that you get as a consequence of someone else’s actions, should be relevant to your feelings of love-worthiness. Not all people, however, are so self-consumed that they are oblivious to the effects they have on you – some are deliberate in the pain they try to inflict. However, these people are insensitive and cruel and unworthy of your consideration. Their actions rob them of the right to hold any power over how you feel about anything – especially yourself. That isn’t to say that you should ignore anyone who tells you anything seemingly negative about yourself. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, and you should listen to it. However, the people are trying to manipulate and hurt you are the people who will be trying to offer this constructive criticism and are not the people you should listen to.
You should also find and surround yourself with other people who care for and love you. These people will make it easier for you to find and encourage positive traits. When people care for others, they often make a point of telling the people they care about uplifting things whenever they get a chance. People who love you also care too much about you to let you fall into ruts and bad habits after you have worked so hard to get yourself out of them. In addition, when you are surrounded by people who care for and love you, it is easier to care and love yourself. Often you can’t keep yourself out of emotional ruts yourself, and because they care about, they are able and willing to help keep you out of them. Because they keep you from falling into these emotional ruts, you can more easily see the helpful effects of love, and will be more encouraged to love yourself and others. They are also able to keep you from forgetting how lovable you are. These people that love and care for you are one variety of the positive people that were supposed to take place of the negative influences in your life earlier, so they also help by making you feel loved by just being around you. If the people around you can love you, then you should be able to love you, too. If you are feeling unloved or unlovable, then people who care about you are willing to convince you that you are otherwise – both loved and lovable.
The next big, and possibly one of the hardest steps for some people, is forgiving yourself for past mistakes, but this step is absolutely mandatory. Dwelling on mistakes you’ve made in the past is a huge source of feelings of love-unworthiness in people. If you aren’t willing to forgive yourself, you can suffer from an overdose of shame, guilt, humiliation, and many other emotions that can be a result of these. Sometimes it is easier to forgive ourselves is someone else forgives us first, but this isn’t always possible. Either way, a mistake doesn’t have to be a regret. If the fault is uncorrectable, then you should learn what you can to avoid similar errors in the future, but you have to be able to move on. Not everything will be able to be fixed, and even if something can be fixed to some degree, it will never be good as new. However, something new will always come, and it will be affected by anything that happened before it. When something can’t be fixed, you should at least try to make the contribution as positive as possible by taking away a lesson and applying it in the next situation that comes. This will also help you forgive yourself when you aren’t able to get forgiveness from another person.
Doing good things whenever you get the chance and doing the best you’re capable of in everything you do is another thing you should do that will help you learn to love yourself, because it helps you develop a stronger sense of love-worthiness. There are ways in which this is true. For one, when you are helping others, it helps you feel wanted and needed. In addition, if you are doing your best, then you are usually rewarded with a sense of satisfaction at the very least. These feelings and others that can come from them are strongly related to love-worthiness.
The most important step, and probably one of the hardest to grasp, is to remember that you are the only in existence and that will ever exist – which makes you extremely valuable. Think how much effort put into taking care of their cars – things that are mass-produced – and think of how much more effort should be put into taking care of you – something that will only be created once in all of eternity! You are a completely unique individual that never be repeated. No one will ever be in positions or situations that you are in again, meaning that you are capable of helping people in ways that no one else will ever be able to – completely worthy of being loved.
After you realize that you need to love yourself, you have to come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect – even you – but that this doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. Think of other people you love – undeniably, they aren’t perfect either, because no human is perfect. Everyone has flaws. However, you are able to love them despite their failings, so you should be able to love yourself despite your failings as well. In addition, if you set unrealistic standards for yourself, such as perfection or near or near-perfection, then you will repeatedly let yourself down. This will only serve to further convince you of your love-unworthiness.
The last thing you have to do before you are ready to take real action is to know what is important. You need to know what traits matter in a person for them to be loved. A good way to do this is to figure out what kinds of qualities make another person you love make them so lovable to you, or why you find them so worthy of love. These are qualities that may make you lovable or love-worthy in your own eyes. In addition, you shouldn’t allow less significant traits distract you. Things such as appearance, ability and inability, or financial well-being are a few things that are superficial and should not affect whether you love others or yourself.
By this time, your mind should be in the right frame of thinking that you can start to take action. One of the first things you have to do is to identify the positive things, which would be the things that make you feel loved or worthy of love, in your life, and nurture them. Some of these things will be people that make you feel loved or love-worthy when you are around them. When you identify these people, you should spend more time with them, and also do your best to make them feel loved and love-worthy in return. Other positive things you might find that need nurturing are positive traits that you possess. There is a slight distinction between your positive traits and important the afore-mentioned important things. Important things apply to everyone; your positive traits are unique to you, and not everyone may possess them. It may be willingness to help people or your desire to enforce the law, everyone has different positive traits. You have to find your unique qualities and find ways to help them grow. If you’re having trouble, a good way to identify these traits and qualities is to ask the people who know you what some positive things about you are, and start from there. Once the parts of your life that make you feel loved and worthy of it have become a more active part of your life, you their effect on your life will become more evident as well.
After you’ve strengthened the positive areas of your life, it will be easier to tackle the negative areas. As with the positive areas of your life, you have to first find and identify the negative things, which keep you or discourage you from loving yourself. You will need a lot of support when dealing with this. This can be dispiriting and hurtful, so it is better to build up the supportive people and qualities that you have first. This is so they can help sustain you when you are working on the negative things in your life. Part of what makes this step so painful is that once you’ve identified the people who make you feel unloved or unworthy of love, you have to stop associating with them, or at least associate with them less. This is another reason it’s good to have strong relationships with helpful, encouraging people – to fill the void left by the people who were hurting you. You’ll also have to make an effort to stifle the traits of yours that make you feel unworthy of being loved. These will also generally be person-specific. They may be anything from insensitivity for others to an inclination towards needless violence. This step is very difficult, but once you start to distance yourself from things that discourage love or that make you feel unworthy of being loved, it allows more room for love to take root.
Now that so much has changed with so many people, there will be a lot of actions and feelings from these people. After you’ve started to encourage things that encourage you, and discouraging things that discourage you, you have to avoid letting the actions and feelings of others affect your feelings for yourself. For one thing, some people don’t realize how their actions will affect you. Many people act without thinking how their words or actions might seem to others, because they don’t think about what they might not know. Also, self-consumed people are usually so wrapped up in themselves that they might not realize that they affect others at all. Some of them might be consumed with self-love, which might make you feel insignificant for not being like them; many others will be consumed with self-hatred, which might make you feel guilty for not being able to help. In either case, however, these people don’t often realize they guilt or other feelings that they are imposing on you. Even though it is difficult, you shouldn’t take it to heart – neither of these feelings, or any other feeling that you get as a consequence of someone else’s actions, should be relevant to your feelings of love-worthiness. Not all people, however, are so self-consumed that they are oblivious to the effects they have on you – some are deliberate in the pain they try to inflict. However, these people are insensitive and cruel and unworthy of your consideration. Their actions rob them of the right to hold any power over how you feel about anything – especially yourself. That isn’t to say that you should ignore anyone who tells you anything seemingly negative about yourself. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, and you should listen to it. However, the people are trying to manipulate and hurt you are the people who will be trying to offer this constructive criticism and are not the people you should listen to.
You should also find and surround yourself with other people who care for and love you. These people will make it easier for you to find and encourage positive traits. When people care for others, they often make a point of telling the people they care about uplifting things whenever they get a chance. People who love you also care too much about you to let you fall into ruts and bad habits after you have worked so hard to get yourself out of them. In addition, when you are surrounded by people who care for and love you, it is easier to care and love yourself. Often you can’t keep yourself out of emotional ruts yourself, and because they care about, they are able and willing to help keep you out of them. Because they keep you from falling into these emotional ruts, you can more easily see the helpful effects of love, and will be more encouraged to love yourself and others. They are also able to keep you from forgetting how lovable you are. These people that love and care for you are one variety of the positive people that were supposed to take place of the negative influences in your life earlier, so they also help by making you feel loved by just being around you. If the people around you can love you, then you should be able to love you, too. If you are feeling unloved or unlovable, then people who care about you are willing to convince you that you are otherwise – both loved and lovable.
The next big, and possibly one of the hardest steps for some people, is forgiving yourself for past mistakes, but this step is absolutely mandatory. Dwelling on mistakes you’ve made in the past is a huge source of feelings of love-unworthiness in people. If you aren’t willing to forgive yourself, you can suffer from an overdose of shame, guilt, humiliation, and many other emotions that can be a result of these. Sometimes it is easier to forgive ourselves is someone else forgives us first, but this isn’t always possible. Either way, a mistake doesn’t have to be a regret. If the fault is uncorrectable, then you should learn what you can to avoid similar errors in the future, but you have to be able to move on. Not everything will be able to be fixed, and even if something can be fixed to some degree, it will never be good as new. However, something new will always come, and it will be affected by anything that happened before it. When something can’t be fixed, you should at least try to make the contribution as positive as possible by taking away a lesson and applying it in the next situation that comes. This will also help you forgive yourself when you aren’t able to get forgiveness from another person.
Doing good things whenever you get the chance and doing the best you’re capable of in everything you do is another thing you should do that will help you learn to love yourself, because it helps you develop a stronger sense of love-worthiness. There are ways in which this is true. For one, when you are helping others, it helps you feel wanted and needed. In addition, if you are doing your best, then you are usually rewarded with a sense of satisfaction at the very least. These feelings and others that can come from them are strongly related to love-worthiness.
The most important step, and probably one of the hardest to grasp, is to remember that you are the only in existence and that will ever exist – which makes you extremely valuable. Think how much effort put into taking care of their cars – things that are mass-produced – and think of how much more effort should be put into taking care of you – something that will only be created once in all of eternity! You are a completely unique individual that never be repeated. No one will ever be in positions or situations that you are in again, meaning that you are capable of helping people in ways that no one else will ever be able to – completely worthy of being loved.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Compare-Contrast Draft 2
There are very few places in which you might see a horse taking out a castle, and even fewer places where a knight would dare challenge a queen. But one of the few places you would find both of these scenarios becoming commonplace is a chessboard. For those who know what chess is, but don’t fully understand how it works, here is some clarification: Two players, each equipped with sixteen pieces each, move their pieces across a checked board in an attempt to corner their opponent’s king. If they can effectively trap the opponent’s king, it’s called a “checkmate.” There are many rules dictating how the different pieces are allowed to move, and many different strategies that guide players in their decisions when moving pieces.
In real life, a horse isn’t usually much of a match for a castle… and a knight probably wouldn’t attack a political figure. Face it – things are a lot harder and way more complicated in life than they are in chess. It would be fantastic if things were as straightforward as black and white squares, but in reality, we have to deal with the things that make us human. We possess a complex emotional quality that, unfortunately, sometimes defies the logic of rules and strategy – or the logic of chess.
So at first glance, chess and life look completely different. Chess is clear-cut and makes sense, and life consists of “human activities” – which, as we know, is far from making sense. Despite the chaos and exhaustion of life, however, I think one can find that if one simply applies the rules of chess, life really can be just fun and games.
One of the most basic rules of chess is called “Touch-Move,” which dictates that once you have touched a piece, you have to move that piece. You might immediately realize you’ve made a mistake, change your mind, and pull your hand back – but by touching the piece, you’ve already displayed the decision to move the piece. You have to go through with your decision. Similarly, in life, once you have done something, you can’t undo it – you have to find a way to finish it. Whatever solution you find may not be able to fix the problem, but you should strive to find the best possible solution given the circumstances you’ve put yourself in.
Something else you have to always keep in mind during both chess and life is that everything is or will be important. That means that you can’t ignore anything at any time. In chess, this translates to never “giving away” your pieces. Each piece is valuable, and you will need them in order to checkmate your opponent’s king. An eye has to be kept on them at all times. One well-positioned piece will not be able to do very much if all of your other pieces get captured. If you ignore and then lose pieces because you considered them to be of lesser value, you will later wish that you’d been more wary of their well-being. When it comes to life, there will always be certain areas that need more attention than others. Sooner or later, however, that area will change – and what happens if an activity or element in your life has suffered from neglect while you were focusing on something elsewhere? Everything in your life should receive as much energy as you can afford to put into it in order to avoid this kind of dilemma. The key here is to not get wrapped up in too many activities.
There is a move in chess called “En Passant,” which is French for, “in passing.” It’s called this because this move can only be made by a pawn when an opposing pawn has passed by it by moving two squares forward on its first move. It isn’t altogether very common situation, and you have to move immediately after your opponent passes you if you want to capture it. If you don’t, you lose the chance to capture the pawn, and it will continue across the board safely. The chance isn’t likely to happen again – a pawn can only have this opportunity twice in a game at the very most. There are many opportunities in life that will disappear if they aren’t taken right away, like a pawn in passing. A person can’t always take time to consider all the pros and cons of every decision; that time won’t always be available. You can’t always assume that another chance will come along, either – in fact, you can never assume that. Opportunities aren’t guarantees; they’re chances – and if by chance you get one, you should take it.
Resources should be fully utilized in both chess and in life. For instance, pieces do no good on a chessboard if they’re left sitting in their safe, black-and-white squares. A good chess player uses each piece to its full potential to capture their opponent’s king or other pieces. Even if there’s no way for a piece to get out of being captured, it should try to capture any other pieces it can before it gets taken. Everything that can be done to capture the opposing king or to stall the opponent from capture your own king is what is done. Life works in a similar way. Every person goes through life with a unique set of circumstances, natural talents, and opportunities that make up their resources. Like with chess, these resources can’t do anything if they only sit inside the person – they need to be used to their full potential. If you don’t use your talents, circumstances, and opportunities as much as possible, they’ll be forever wasted. Nobody else can use your resources. Who knows what could be accomplished through you if you try to reach your full capacity? Nearly any king can be captured if all the pieces are utilized correctly – so nearly anything can be reached through the gifts you’ve been given.
However, some pieces, such as queens, get more resources than other pieces, such as pawns. That’s why the rule “Promotion” exists. “Promotion” says that a pawn, upon reaching the opposite side of the board, may be promoted to a higher-ranking piece. This is very difficult for a pawn to accomplish because their mobility is limited, and they have little attacking power. They also have to cross through enemy territory in order to reach the other side of the board, which is additionally dangerous to such a restricted piece. Being promoted to a rank as strong as a queen, however, is very rewarding, as a queen has very few limits in her movement. This happens in reality, as well. If one works hard despite disadvantages, they are likely to earn advantages over others who did not work as hard. It’s often discouraging when you are struggling and others seem to be carefree. But even if the situation seems unfair, view it as a test, and work harder. Eventually, the determination and integrity will pay off by being acknowledged, and it will help you bypass future struggles.
A common struggle in chess, and in life as well, is playing the other person’s game. It’s important in both that you be your own entity. A good player does have to protect their pieces, but they can’t always be solely on the defensive, or else the opponent will be able to control their moves. Obviously, you can’t abandon your pieces, but you can’t forget that you have a job to do, either. Don’t let your opponent corner you – find a way to show them that you are the one moving your pieces and that they should stick to their pieces. Don’t completely ignore your opponent – otherwise he’ll slaughter you – but don’t let him manipulate you. Likewise, you should always make your own decisions when it comes to life. Others will try to tell you what the best decision is – but they’ll probably tell you what the best decision is for them. Remember that you know yourself better than anyone else, and you know best what you need and what will help you in the future. You will have to live with the decisions you make, not them, so don’t let them manipulate you into a choice that is going to make life harder for you. That doesn’t mean to turn down well-meant advice, or that you shouldn’t listen to the opinions of others before making an informed decision. However, don’t let anyone else’s actions dictate your own.
There’s nothing wrong with getting help when you need it, and that’s part of the reason why the move “Castling” exists. “Castling” is an interesting move that allows you to move two pieces at once, your rook and your king. Your rook is moved into the game, while your king is moved closer to safety. Keeping your king safe is number one priority – if you can get him into a protected location, you should. If a player is able to “Castle” but won’t do it in order to keep up the pretense of not needing to, then they are prideful and foolish. The king is an important but weak piece, and needs protected. In life, you should know when to acknowledge that you need help and act on it. There are a lot of people in the world who won’t ask for help because they are waiting for someone to offer it. If you need something, ask; if you need help, get it! Others will not always be able to tell that you are in need, or they may not know how to approach you. Accepting or asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness; no one is capable of doing anything significant by on their own. Everyone needs someone – even the king needs his rook to help protect him.
“Castling” is the only move that allows boundaries to be broken – more than one piece moves in one turn, the king moves more than one space, and the two pieces that do move, move through each other. Is it any coincidence that the only time boundaries can be broken is the time when one piece is helping another? I doubt it. The only time it’s acceptable to the rules is when it’s for the safety or well-being of another. It’s important in chess, and naturally, in life, to help others where you are able. When a rook “Castles,” he knows that a king can’t handle the game on his own, and he breaks the rules to lend him a hand. In some cases, the rook may have to choose between taking an enemy piece and protecting his king, and in this situation, he’ll protect his king. He is the only one who can do this. Exceptions to rules and boundaries should and can be made to help others in reality as well. Sometimes these will be backed up by others – sometimes you will be on your own. Sometimes you might have to make a personal sacrifice, like the rook having to give up an enemy piece. As a friend, and a human, you should be reliable – your friends and fellow humans should be able to depend on you for help. This will require you to develop an appreciation for human life, but reliability also ties in with resourcefulness and opportunity. Try to help everyone you can – the rook is the only person who can help the king, and you never know if there will be another person capable of helping someone the way that you can.
The term “En Prise” is used in chess for a piece that can be attacked but not guarded. This is because it is impossible to keep every piece guarded at all times. However, if your opponent comes after an unguarded piece of yours, they will probably leave an opening in their own line of defense. In life, this is similar to vulnerability – an openness that makes it possible for you to connect with others or be hurt. There will almost always be a way for people to connect with you; it is part of what makes you human. However, in an attempt to connect with you, that person is going to have to also open up and make themselves vulnerable.
Vulnerability may be inevitable, but it isn’t inevitable solely for you – it’s inevitable for your opponent as well. You have to keep yourself as guarded as possible while looking for openings in others. In chess, keeping your king safe is just as important as checkmating your opponent’s king. If you get checkmated first, it doesn’t matter how close you were to checkmating him – you’ve lost. If you absolutely cannot checkmate him, try to get a draw or a stalemate where no one wins – but keep your king safe! When you’re looking for openings in others in real life, you still should try to protect yourself. Being caught in a situation where you are vulnerable and someone else has power over you is not optimum; you should avoid it. If you can’t get someone to open up to you, then you simply won’t connect with them. Don’t continue to open to them more and more in hopes that they’ll return the favor – that’s how you end up in a manipulated position. Because life isn’t chess, the rules aren’t as clear-cut, and it’s okay to be more open with a person than with an opposing chess player. However, you still have to be careful.
Let’s assume that you have effectively applied and followed all the basic rules, strategies, and moves of chess to your game. You’ve moved every piece you’ve touched, kept an eye on all your pieces, seized every opportunity that’s come your way, used your pieces to their full potential, fought your pawns’ way across the board, played your own game, “Castled” when you got the chance, and protected yourself the best you good while looking for your opponent’s vulnerabilities. Odds are, you’ve won – Congratulations! You’ve checkmated your opponent’s king; he’s captured, and he can’t get away. He’s yours – end of game. Now let’s assume that you’ve also effectively applied and followed these rules, strategies, and moves to life. You’ve finished everything you’ve started, balanced your life as well as you could, taken chances, used your talents, worked hard regardless of any inconveniences, made your own decisions, depended on your friends when you needed to, helped others when you could, protected your vulnerability, and always looked for openings in other people. Things aren’t as black-and-white in life as they are in chess, so some of the results of these actions may vary, but hopefully there’s one thing that you’ve successfully accomplished. This thing would be that you’ve found an opening in someone and formed a connection with them – this is not the end of the game.
Both chess and life emphasize that the most important thing is to find ways to reach other people. There are only two differences. In chess, you want to reach someone who is trying to get away from you, while in life, we are all in need of connections. The reason it is so difficult for us to form these connections is not that the pain or fear of the bond itself, but the pain and fear of it being stretched or broken. However, humans do possess a complex emotional quality, and part of the complexity is the need for connecting with other humans. As spiritual beings, we will either have to take the risk and make ourselves vulnerable bit by bit, or live with this need forever. The other difference is that once you’ve attained the other someone in chess, the game is over. In life, once you finally find another person or few, you finally start the fun and games.
In real life, a horse isn’t usually much of a match for a castle… and a knight probably wouldn’t attack a political figure. Face it – things are a lot harder and way more complicated in life than they are in chess. It would be fantastic if things were as straightforward as black and white squares, but in reality, we have to deal with the things that make us human. We possess a complex emotional quality that, unfortunately, sometimes defies the logic of rules and strategy – or the logic of chess.
So at first glance, chess and life look completely different. Chess is clear-cut and makes sense, and life consists of “human activities” – which, as we know, is far from making sense. Despite the chaos and exhaustion of life, however, I think one can find that if one simply applies the rules of chess, life really can be just fun and games.
One of the most basic rules of chess is called “Touch-Move,” which dictates that once you have touched a piece, you have to move that piece. You might immediately realize you’ve made a mistake, change your mind, and pull your hand back – but by touching the piece, you’ve already displayed the decision to move the piece. You have to go through with your decision. Similarly, in life, once you have done something, you can’t undo it – you have to find a way to finish it. Whatever solution you find may not be able to fix the problem, but you should strive to find the best possible solution given the circumstances you’ve put yourself in.
Something else you have to always keep in mind during both chess and life is that everything is or will be important. That means that you can’t ignore anything at any time. In chess, this translates to never “giving away” your pieces. Each piece is valuable, and you will need them in order to checkmate your opponent’s king. An eye has to be kept on them at all times. One well-positioned piece will not be able to do very much if all of your other pieces get captured. If you ignore and then lose pieces because you considered them to be of lesser value, you will later wish that you’d been more wary of their well-being. When it comes to life, there will always be certain areas that need more attention than others. Sooner or later, however, that area will change – and what happens if an activity or element in your life has suffered from neglect while you were focusing on something elsewhere? Everything in your life should receive as much energy as you can afford to put into it in order to avoid this kind of dilemma. The key here is to not get wrapped up in too many activities.
There is a move in chess called “En Passant,” which is French for, “in passing.” It’s called this because this move can only be made by a pawn when an opposing pawn has passed by it by moving two squares forward on its first move. It isn’t altogether very common situation, and you have to move immediately after your opponent passes you if you want to capture it. If you don’t, you lose the chance to capture the pawn, and it will continue across the board safely. The chance isn’t likely to happen again – a pawn can only have this opportunity twice in a game at the very most. There are many opportunities in life that will disappear if they aren’t taken right away, like a pawn in passing. A person can’t always take time to consider all the pros and cons of every decision; that time won’t always be available. You can’t always assume that another chance will come along, either – in fact, you can never assume that. Opportunities aren’t guarantees; they’re chances – and if by chance you get one, you should take it.
Resources should be fully utilized in both chess and in life. For instance, pieces do no good on a chessboard if they’re left sitting in their safe, black-and-white squares. A good chess player uses each piece to its full potential to capture their opponent’s king or other pieces. Even if there’s no way for a piece to get out of being captured, it should try to capture any other pieces it can before it gets taken. Everything that can be done to capture the opposing king or to stall the opponent from capture your own king is what is done. Life works in a similar way. Every person goes through life with a unique set of circumstances, natural talents, and opportunities that make up their resources. Like with chess, these resources can’t do anything if they only sit inside the person – they need to be used to their full potential. If you don’t use your talents, circumstances, and opportunities as much as possible, they’ll be forever wasted. Nobody else can use your resources. Who knows what could be accomplished through you if you try to reach your full capacity? Nearly any king can be captured if all the pieces are utilized correctly – so nearly anything can be reached through the gifts you’ve been given.
However, some pieces, such as queens, get more resources than other pieces, such as pawns. That’s why the rule “Promotion” exists. “Promotion” says that a pawn, upon reaching the opposite side of the board, may be promoted to a higher-ranking piece. This is very difficult for a pawn to accomplish because their mobility is limited, and they have little attacking power. They also have to cross through enemy territory in order to reach the other side of the board, which is additionally dangerous to such a restricted piece. Being promoted to a rank as strong as a queen, however, is very rewarding, as a queen has very few limits in her movement. This happens in reality, as well. If one works hard despite disadvantages, they are likely to earn advantages over others who did not work as hard. It’s often discouraging when you are struggling and others seem to be carefree. But even if the situation seems unfair, view it as a test, and work harder. Eventually, the determination and integrity will pay off by being acknowledged, and it will help you bypass future struggles.
A common struggle in chess, and in life as well, is playing the other person’s game. It’s important in both that you be your own entity. A good player does have to protect their pieces, but they can’t always be solely on the defensive, or else the opponent will be able to control their moves. Obviously, you can’t abandon your pieces, but you can’t forget that you have a job to do, either. Don’t let your opponent corner you – find a way to show them that you are the one moving your pieces and that they should stick to their pieces. Don’t completely ignore your opponent – otherwise he’ll slaughter you – but don’t let him manipulate you. Likewise, you should always make your own decisions when it comes to life. Others will try to tell you what the best decision is – but they’ll probably tell you what the best decision is for them. Remember that you know yourself better than anyone else, and you know best what you need and what will help you in the future. You will have to live with the decisions you make, not them, so don’t let them manipulate you into a choice that is going to make life harder for you. That doesn’t mean to turn down well-meant advice, or that you shouldn’t listen to the opinions of others before making an informed decision. However, don’t let anyone else’s actions dictate your own.
There’s nothing wrong with getting help when you need it, and that’s part of the reason why the move “Castling” exists. “Castling” is an interesting move that allows you to move two pieces at once, your rook and your king. Your rook is moved into the game, while your king is moved closer to safety. Keeping your king safe is number one priority – if you can get him into a protected location, you should. If a player is able to “Castle” but won’t do it in order to keep up the pretense of not needing to, then they are prideful and foolish. The king is an important but weak piece, and needs protected. In life, you should know when to acknowledge that you need help and act on it. There are a lot of people in the world who won’t ask for help because they are waiting for someone to offer it. If you need something, ask; if you need help, get it! Others will not always be able to tell that you are in need, or they may not know how to approach you. Accepting or asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness; no one is capable of doing anything significant by on their own. Everyone needs someone – even the king needs his rook to help protect him.
“Castling” is the only move that allows boundaries to be broken – more than one piece moves in one turn, the king moves more than one space, and the two pieces that do move, move through each other. Is it any coincidence that the only time boundaries can be broken is the time when one piece is helping another? I doubt it. The only time it’s acceptable to the rules is when it’s for the safety or well-being of another. It’s important in chess, and naturally, in life, to help others where you are able. When a rook “Castles,” he knows that a king can’t handle the game on his own, and he breaks the rules to lend him a hand. In some cases, the rook may have to choose between taking an enemy piece and protecting his king, and in this situation, he’ll protect his king. He is the only one who can do this. Exceptions to rules and boundaries should and can be made to help others in reality as well. Sometimes these will be backed up by others – sometimes you will be on your own. Sometimes you might have to make a personal sacrifice, like the rook having to give up an enemy piece. As a friend, and a human, you should be reliable – your friends and fellow humans should be able to depend on you for help. This will require you to develop an appreciation for human life, but reliability also ties in with resourcefulness and opportunity. Try to help everyone you can – the rook is the only person who can help the king, and you never know if there will be another person capable of helping someone the way that you can.
The term “En Prise” is used in chess for a piece that can be attacked but not guarded. This is because it is impossible to keep every piece guarded at all times. However, if your opponent comes after an unguarded piece of yours, they will probably leave an opening in their own line of defense. In life, this is similar to vulnerability – an openness that makes it possible for you to connect with others or be hurt. There will almost always be a way for people to connect with you; it is part of what makes you human. However, in an attempt to connect with you, that person is going to have to also open up and make themselves vulnerable.
Vulnerability may be inevitable, but it isn’t inevitable solely for you – it’s inevitable for your opponent as well. You have to keep yourself as guarded as possible while looking for openings in others. In chess, keeping your king safe is just as important as checkmating your opponent’s king. If you get checkmated first, it doesn’t matter how close you were to checkmating him – you’ve lost. If you absolutely cannot checkmate him, try to get a draw or a stalemate where no one wins – but keep your king safe! When you’re looking for openings in others in real life, you still should try to protect yourself. Being caught in a situation where you are vulnerable and someone else has power over you is not optimum; you should avoid it. If you can’t get someone to open up to you, then you simply won’t connect with them. Don’t continue to open to them more and more in hopes that they’ll return the favor – that’s how you end up in a manipulated position. Because life isn’t chess, the rules aren’t as clear-cut, and it’s okay to be more open with a person than with an opposing chess player. However, you still have to be careful.
Let’s assume that you have effectively applied and followed all the basic rules, strategies, and moves of chess to your game. You’ve moved every piece you’ve touched, kept an eye on all your pieces, seized every opportunity that’s come your way, used your pieces to their full potential, fought your pawns’ way across the board, played your own game, “Castled” when you got the chance, and protected yourself the best you good while looking for your opponent’s vulnerabilities. Odds are, you’ve won – Congratulations! You’ve checkmated your opponent’s king; he’s captured, and he can’t get away. He’s yours – end of game. Now let’s assume that you’ve also effectively applied and followed these rules, strategies, and moves to life. You’ve finished everything you’ve started, balanced your life as well as you could, taken chances, used your talents, worked hard regardless of any inconveniences, made your own decisions, depended on your friends when you needed to, helped others when you could, protected your vulnerability, and always looked for openings in other people. Things aren’t as black-and-white in life as they are in chess, so some of the results of these actions may vary, but hopefully there’s one thing that you’ve successfully accomplished. This thing would be that you’ve found an opening in someone and formed a connection with them – this is not the end of the game.
Both chess and life emphasize that the most important thing is to find ways to reach other people. There are only two differences. In chess, you want to reach someone who is trying to get away from you, while in life, we are all in need of connections. The reason it is so difficult for us to form these connections is not that the pain or fear of the bond itself, but the pain and fear of it being stretched or broken. However, humans do possess a complex emotional quality, and part of the complexity is the need for connecting with other humans. As spiritual beings, we will either have to take the risk and make ourselves vulnerable bit by bit, or live with this need forever. The other difference is that once you’ve attained the other someone in chess, the game is over. In life, once you finally find another person or few, you finally start the fun and games.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Compare-Contrast Outline
Thesis Statement: Despite the chaos and exhaustion of life, I think you can find that if you simply apply the rules of chess, life really can just be fun and games.
I. Chess and life share the rule that everything you do is final and cannot be changed.
A. In chess, “Touch-Move” dictates that once you touch a piece, you have to move that piece.
1. You can change your mind, but you’ve already acted, and have to go through with it.
2. You must find a solution to situation you’ve put yourself in.
B. In life, it’s a fact that once you’ve started something, you have to find some way to finish it.
1. You cannot just simply say, “I didn’t mean to do that, rewind, please.”
2. Your solution might not fix the problem, but you should try to find the best answer given your circumstances.
II. Chess and life share the rule that you must not neglect anything at any time, because sooner or later, you will need it.
A. In chess, you should never give your pieces away.
1. Each piece is valuable.
2. You cannot win without pieces to win with – one well-positioned piece won’t do much if you’ve lost all your other pieces.
3. You never know what piece you will need next.
B. In life, no area of your life should ever go completely ignored.
1. Everything you do is important and deserves as much energy as you can put into it.
2. Certain parts of your life will need more attention at certain times, focusing on one activity won’t make up for all the areas that suffer from neglect.
3. All of your life will suffer if one part collapses.
III. Chess and life share the rule that you should seize any opportunity you can before it is too late.
A. In chess, “En Passant” is a move in which a pawn can capture another pawn only if it moves immediately.
1. If the first pawn doesn’t capture it right away, it can’t capture the enemy pawn again later.
2. This can only happen, at the most, twice for each pawn.
B. In life, there are many opportunities that will disappear if you don’t take them right away.
1. You can’t always take the time to consider the pros and cons of every decision.
2. Don’t assume that another chance will come along – it may not.
IV. Chess and life share the rule that resources should be fully utilized.
A. In chess, no pieces should be left sitting their row.
1. Pieces can’t do anything if they only sit in their square.
2. A good player uses a piece to its full potential capture their opponent’s king.
B. In life, you should do whatever you are able to do to achieve your goals.
1. Everyone is born with a unique set of circumstances, natural talents, and opportunities that will never occur again – don’t waste them.
2. If you don’t use your resources to contact a person, those resources may never be used, or that person may never be contacted.
V. Chess and life share the rule that hard work is rewarded.
A. In chess, “Promotion” is a rule stating that a pawn, upon reaching the opposite side of the board, may be promoted to a higher-ranking piece.
1. Pawns, because of their limited mobility, are considered to be at a disadvantage.
2. Reaching the opposite side of the board, which requires crossing through enemy territory, is a challenge.
3. When a pawn, considered an underdog, achieves this, it is promoted to a more empowered piece, usually a queen.
B. In life, working hard despite disadvantages is likely to earn you advantages over others who did not work as hard.
1. Life is often discouraging, for various reasons, and sometimes pulling through it even one day at a time is challenging.
2. View it as a test, and work even harder – even if circumstances seem unfair.
3. Eventually, your determination and integrity will be noticed, and it will help you bypass future struggles.
VI. Chess and life share the rule that it’s important for you to be your own entity.
A. In chess, while you should always protect your pieces, you can’t always be on the defensive, because then your opponent will control your moves.
1. You have to keep your goal in mind.
2. Don’t abandon your pieces, but don’t forget that you have a job to do, either.
B. In life, you should make your own choices, even if others are trying to convince you that it’s the best decision
1. You know yourself better than they do; you know better what you need and what will help you in the future.
2. You are the one that is going to have to live with the choices you make, not them.
VII. Chess and life share the rule that you should depend on others when you need to.
A. In chess, “Castling” is a move that allows you, in one move, to get your rook into the game while getting your king closer to safety.
1. Keeping the king safe is number one priority, and a good player knows that.
2. A person who keeps the pretense of, “I don’t need to Castle to protect my king,” is prideful and stupid – the king is an important piece, but weak; he needs protected.
B. In life, you should know when to acknowledge that you need help, and act on it.
1. If you need something, ask; if you need help, get it!
2. Accepting assistance is not a sign of weakness – no one is capable of doing anything significant by themselves.
VIII. Chess and life share the rule that it is your responsibility to help another when you are able.
A. In chess, “Castling” is a move in which your rook is allowed to break common boundaries to protect your king.
1. The rook knows that the king can’t handle the game on his own; he breaks the rule to help him.
2. If the rook must choose between taking an enemy piece and protecting his king, he’ll protect his king – he is the only piece who can help his king.
B. In life, exceptions should and can be made to help a friend, and you should take advantage of these.
1. As a friend, and a human, you should be reliable – this also ties in with resourcefulness and opportunity.
2. Help everyone you can – you may or may not know if anyone else will be able to help them.
IX. Chess and life share the rule that there will be cases when parts of you will be vulnerable.
A. In chess, “En Prise” is a term for pieces that can be attacked but not guarded.
1. It’s impossible to keep every piece guarded at all times.
2. However, if your opponent comes after an unguarded piece of yours, they may leave an opening in their own line of defense.
B. In life, vulnerability is openness that makes it possible for you to be hurt.
1. There will almost always be a way for people to connect with you – it is part of what makes you human.
2. But in an attempt to connect with you, a person will have to make themselves vulnerable.
X. Chess and life share the rule that you should try to keep yourself safe while always looking for a way to connect with others.
A. In chess, protecting your king is just as important as checkmating your opponent’s king.
1. It doesn’t matter how close you are to checkmating the opposing king if you get checkmated first.
2. If you absolutely cannot checkmate your opponent, try to get a stalemate or a draw, where no one can win.
B. In life, you have to keep yourself safe at the same time as being able to connect with others.
1. Being caught in a place where you are vulnerable and someone else has power over you is not optimum; you should avoid it.
2. If there is no way to get someone to open up to you, don’t open up to them in hopes that they’ll return the favor.
XI. Chess and life share the rule that the most important thing is to find ways to reach other people.
A. In chess, you win by putting your opponent’s king in a position to be captured that he cannot escape from.
1. To do this, you’ll need to know and use all the rules and strategies mentioned before (and maybe some practice).
2. Once you’ve won, the king is yours – forever and ever, end of game
B. In life, you need to form connections with other people that won’t be broken.
1. This is done by applying all the rules and strategies mentioned before.
2. Once you’ve formed a strong connection with someone, it shouldn’t be broken – the only difference is that now you’ve gotten a connection, life is only beginning.
I. Chess and life share the rule that everything you do is final and cannot be changed.
A. In chess, “Touch-Move” dictates that once you touch a piece, you have to move that piece.
1. You can change your mind, but you’ve already acted, and have to go through with it.
2. You must find a solution to situation you’ve put yourself in.
B. In life, it’s a fact that once you’ve started something, you have to find some way to finish it.
1. You cannot just simply say, “I didn’t mean to do that, rewind, please.”
2. Your solution might not fix the problem, but you should try to find the best answer given your circumstances.
II. Chess and life share the rule that you must not neglect anything at any time, because sooner or later, you will need it.
A. In chess, you should never give your pieces away.
1. Each piece is valuable.
2. You cannot win without pieces to win with – one well-positioned piece won’t do much if you’ve lost all your other pieces.
3. You never know what piece you will need next.
B. In life, no area of your life should ever go completely ignored.
1. Everything you do is important and deserves as much energy as you can put into it.
2. Certain parts of your life will need more attention at certain times, focusing on one activity won’t make up for all the areas that suffer from neglect.
3. All of your life will suffer if one part collapses.
III. Chess and life share the rule that you should seize any opportunity you can before it is too late.
A. In chess, “En Passant” is a move in which a pawn can capture another pawn only if it moves immediately.
1. If the first pawn doesn’t capture it right away, it can’t capture the enemy pawn again later.
2. This can only happen, at the most, twice for each pawn.
B. In life, there are many opportunities that will disappear if you don’t take them right away.
1. You can’t always take the time to consider the pros and cons of every decision.
2. Don’t assume that another chance will come along – it may not.
IV. Chess and life share the rule that resources should be fully utilized.
A. In chess, no pieces should be left sitting their row.
1. Pieces can’t do anything if they only sit in their square.
2. A good player uses a piece to its full potential capture their opponent’s king.
B. In life, you should do whatever you are able to do to achieve your goals.
1. Everyone is born with a unique set of circumstances, natural talents, and opportunities that will never occur again – don’t waste them.
2. If you don’t use your resources to contact a person, those resources may never be used, or that person may never be contacted.
V. Chess and life share the rule that hard work is rewarded.
A. In chess, “Promotion” is a rule stating that a pawn, upon reaching the opposite side of the board, may be promoted to a higher-ranking piece.
1. Pawns, because of their limited mobility, are considered to be at a disadvantage.
2. Reaching the opposite side of the board, which requires crossing through enemy territory, is a challenge.
3. When a pawn, considered an underdog, achieves this, it is promoted to a more empowered piece, usually a queen.
B. In life, working hard despite disadvantages is likely to earn you advantages over others who did not work as hard.
1. Life is often discouraging, for various reasons, and sometimes pulling through it even one day at a time is challenging.
2. View it as a test, and work even harder – even if circumstances seem unfair.
3. Eventually, your determination and integrity will be noticed, and it will help you bypass future struggles.
VI. Chess and life share the rule that it’s important for you to be your own entity.
A. In chess, while you should always protect your pieces, you can’t always be on the defensive, because then your opponent will control your moves.
1. You have to keep your goal in mind.
2. Don’t abandon your pieces, but don’t forget that you have a job to do, either.
B. In life, you should make your own choices, even if others are trying to convince you that it’s the best decision
1. You know yourself better than they do; you know better what you need and what will help you in the future.
2. You are the one that is going to have to live with the choices you make, not them.
VII. Chess and life share the rule that you should depend on others when you need to.
A. In chess, “Castling” is a move that allows you, in one move, to get your rook into the game while getting your king closer to safety.
1. Keeping the king safe is number one priority, and a good player knows that.
2. A person who keeps the pretense of, “I don’t need to Castle to protect my king,” is prideful and stupid – the king is an important piece, but weak; he needs protected.
B. In life, you should know when to acknowledge that you need help, and act on it.
1. If you need something, ask; if you need help, get it!
2. Accepting assistance is not a sign of weakness – no one is capable of doing anything significant by themselves.
VIII. Chess and life share the rule that it is your responsibility to help another when you are able.
A. In chess, “Castling” is a move in which your rook is allowed to break common boundaries to protect your king.
1. The rook knows that the king can’t handle the game on his own; he breaks the rule to help him.
2. If the rook must choose between taking an enemy piece and protecting his king, he’ll protect his king – he is the only piece who can help his king.
B. In life, exceptions should and can be made to help a friend, and you should take advantage of these.
1. As a friend, and a human, you should be reliable – this also ties in with resourcefulness and opportunity.
2. Help everyone you can – you may or may not know if anyone else will be able to help them.
IX. Chess and life share the rule that there will be cases when parts of you will be vulnerable.
A. In chess, “En Prise” is a term for pieces that can be attacked but not guarded.
1. It’s impossible to keep every piece guarded at all times.
2. However, if your opponent comes after an unguarded piece of yours, they may leave an opening in their own line of defense.
B. In life, vulnerability is openness that makes it possible for you to be hurt.
1. There will almost always be a way for people to connect with you – it is part of what makes you human.
2. But in an attempt to connect with you, a person will have to make themselves vulnerable.
X. Chess and life share the rule that you should try to keep yourself safe while always looking for a way to connect with others.
A. In chess, protecting your king is just as important as checkmating your opponent’s king.
1. It doesn’t matter how close you are to checkmating the opposing king if you get checkmated first.
2. If you absolutely cannot checkmate your opponent, try to get a stalemate or a draw, where no one can win.
B. In life, you have to keep yourself safe at the same time as being able to connect with others.
1. Being caught in a place where you are vulnerable and someone else has power over you is not optimum; you should avoid it.
2. If there is no way to get someone to open up to you, don’t open up to them in hopes that they’ll return the favor.
XI. Chess and life share the rule that the most important thing is to find ways to reach other people.
A. In chess, you win by putting your opponent’s king in a position to be captured that he cannot escape from.
1. To do this, you’ll need to know and use all the rules and strategies mentioned before (and maybe some practice).
2. Once you’ve won, the king is yours – forever and ever, end of game
B. In life, you need to form connections with other people that won’t be broken.
1. This is done by applying all the rules and strategies mentioned before.
2. Once you’ve formed a strong connection with someone, it shouldn’t be broken – the only difference is that now you’ve gotten a connection, life is only beginning.
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